Wife, Protect Me! - Chapter 21 - It's All Rumors

“Amusing, truly amusing…”

Old Lady Song was endlessly amused by this bizarre poem full of twists and turns. After finishing her laughter, she even gave one of the longevity peaches gifted by Song Yu to Li Nuo.

Song Yu felt his heart bleeding. These weren’t ordinary peaches—he had spent a fortune to buy them from a master of the Agrarian School. In terms of value, they were more precious than any other gift presented tonight. He hadn’t even gotten to taste one himself, yet his grandmother had given it to the person he detested most. His heart ached unbearably.

Meanwhile, some people in the birthday hall began to view Li Nuo with changed expressions.

If the first poem could have been prepared in advance by Li Xuanjing, this second one was undoubtedly improvised on the spot.

The “Queen Mother of the Jade Pool Birthday Scroll” and the longevity peaches were both birthday gifts presented by the Song family members to the old lady tonight. Forced into a corner, Li Nuo had used these gifts as material to improvise a whimsical poem, delighting the old lady while extricating himself from an awkward situation…

Putting themselves in his shoes, how many present could have displayed such quick-witted adaptability?

If someone like this could be called a fool, then there were hardly any sane people left in the world.

After presenting two poems, Li Nuo led Song Jiaren aside, subtly releasing her hand while inwardly breathing a sigh of relief. In truth, he never wanted to resort to such awkward tactics—after all, these were clichés that had been overused in countless time-travel novels, enough to draw ridicule even in web novels. But he truly had no other choice, forced into a corner like the heroes of Liangshan Marsh.

That damned thief! Of all the valuable things to steal, why did it have to be their congratulatory gift?

And that Song Qian, with her incessant gossiping—Li Nuo strongly suspected she held some grudge against his wife…

Fortunately, this hurdle was finally overcome without major incident.

Next, the sisters Song Mu’er and Song Ning’er performed a birthday dance for the elderly madam, delighting her with continuous laughter. The madam rewarded each of them with a jade bracelet.

With that, the birthday congratulations segment came to an end.

As the banquet entered its second half, guests took their seats and began enjoying the lavish feast.

The birthday banquet for Old Lady Song was a complete success tonight. The two poems presented by Li Nuo particularly elevated the atmosphere to its peak, especially the second one. Not only did it enliven the mood and amuse the elderly madam, but the poem itself was exceptionally clever, earning spontaneous applause.

Several Confucian scholars well-versed in poetry praised both poems highly. The first was already a masterpiece worthy of being passed down through generations, while the impromptu second poem, though peculiar, was even more ingenious and amusing—likely to achieve wider circulation than the first.

In the future, whenever people mention this poem, they would inevitably recall the scene at Old Lady Song’s birthday banquet tonight. In a way, Old Lady Song achieved a form of immortality through these verses—after all, the poems were explicitly titled “For Song Jiaren at Old Lady Song’s Birthday Celebration,” forever linking her name to them.

What surprised people even more was that Li Nuo didn’t even leave his own name on these two timeless birthday poems, instead inscribing his wife’s name—clear evidence of his deep affection for her.

People had initially thought their marriage was like “a toad lusting after swan meat,” but tonight they realized it was truly a match between talent and beauty.

All that talk about the Minister of the Court of Revision’s son being a fool…

Clearly, it was nothing but rumors—malicious, groundless rumors!

In the banquet hall, Li Nuo and Song Jiaren sat at a long low table laden with aromatic and delicious dishes. Sharing the same table were Song Yu, Song Qian and their spouses, along with the sisters Song Mu’er and Song Ning’er.

Everyone’s expressions varied: Song Yu looked frustrated and helpless, Song Qian frowned with obvious displeasure, while Song Mu’er and Song Ning’er kept staring at the longevity peach in front of Li Nuo, swallowing hard repeatedly.

Li Nuo himself was sorely tempted by the peach’s fragrance. He tried to split it in half with his hands, but despite prolonged effort, found the peach remarkably firm—no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t break it open.

Song Jiaren took the peach from him. With a crisp crack, she split it in half and handed it to him.

Li Nuo only took one half, saying, “You have the other half, Niangzi.”

Song Jiaren shook her head, broke the remaining half into two pieces, and gave them to the sisters Song Mu’er and Song Ning’er, who had been swallowing incessantly. The two girls eagerly accepted them, then immediately started squabbling over whose piece was bigger and whose was smaller, running to another table to have their parents settle the dispute. A peach that had already been split was much easier to divide further. Li Nuo effortlessly separated his portion into two halves and handed one to Song Jiaren.

After a moment’s hesitation, Song Jiaren reached out and accepted it.

Li Nuo took a bite of the peach, immediately finding it crisp, fragrant, and mouthwatering. Having lived two lifetimes, he had never tasted such a delicious peach. In just a few bites, he finished his quarter of the peach, completely oblivious to the pained expression on Song Yu’s face across from him.

Meanwhile, Song Jiaren beside him had only taken a small first bite.

Whether it was an illusion or not, after eating a few mouthfuls of the peach, Li Nuo felt the dull pain in his shoulder wound fade away. The spot where he had hit his head against the pillar also seemed to have lost all sensation. He reached up to touch his forehead and suddenly froze in surprise.

The bump from hitting his head two nights ago had completely disappeared…

He pulled open his clothes and removed the bandage, discovering that his shoulder wound had mostly healed. It seemed that while eating the longevity peach, a warm, comforting sensation had spread through his body…

Li Nuo exclaimed in amazement, “This peach can heal wounds?”

Song Yu glanced at him and said irritably, “Of course it can. This was personally cultivated by a Fourth Realm master of the Agrarian School. Each one is worth a thousand taels and is incredibly rare on the market. You really got it cheap…”

Looking at his mostly healed wound, Li Nuo once again witnessed the wonders of this world.

Just a quarter of the peach had nearly healed his wound. Would eating a few more bites have completely cured it?

After silently observing Li Nuo’s shoulder wound for a moment, Song Jiaren handed her peach over and said, “You eat it…”

This time, Li Nuo didn’t stand on ceremony, especially since his wound still hurt. He quickly finished the peach, then stared intently at his shoulder. Sure enough, after swallowing the peach, it transformed into a gentle warm flow that directed itself toward the wound. Within a few breaths, the remaining injury on his shoulder completely healed, leaving only a faint white mark.

This scene shocked Li Nuo even more than when Steward Wu had immobilized him.

Song Jiaren had intended to ask Li Nuo to cut off the part she had bitten, but before she could finish speaking, he had already eaten the entire peach. Her lips moved slightly, but in the end, she said nothing.

“I’m full!”

Song Qian, having been subjected to the couple’s display of affection, felt her heart grow even more sour. She pulled her husband’s arm and stormed off in a huff.

“I’m full too.”

Having spent thousands of taels on the longevity peaches without getting a single bite himself, and then having to endure the couple’s affection, Song Yu had lost his appetite and followed the other two away.

In an instant, only Li Nuo and Song Jiaren remained at the table.

Just as Li Nuo was marveling at the wonders of the Agrarian School, a figure approached from the side. After glancing at Li Nuo, the person turned to Song Jiaren and asked, “What happened?”

Song Lian knew that the couple had originally prepared a pair of jade ruyi scepters as a gift for the elderly lady, but they had been replaced with two birthday poems at the last moment. There must be some reason behind this.

Without saying a word, Song Jiaren lifted the red silk covering the wooden tray beside her, revealing two stones beneath.

Song Lian was momentarily stunned, then anger flashed across his face as he said in a low voice, “Who did this?”

Someone had replaced Jiaren’s birthday gift with a stone. If Li Nuo hadn’t stepped in with impromptu poems, the couple would have been thoroughly humiliated before the guests, and the old madam’s sixtieth birthday celebration would have been marred by a major flaw. The perpetrator’s intentions were undeniably malicious.

The servants of the Song family wouldn’t dare such a thing. His first suspicion fell upon his own daughter.

After all, Qian’er had always disliked Jiaren and had deliberately made things difficult for them during their birthday greetings to the old madam just moments earlier… Even though he found it hard to believe his daughter capable of such an act, she remained the prime suspect.

Fortunately, Li Nuo’s quick wit had averted the crisis in time, allowing the old madam’s birthday banquet to conclude perfectly.

But if that were the case, did it mean the first poem was also composed on the spot?

To conceive not one but two highly praised Confucian-style poems under such pressing circumstances…

Did this mean he was truly no longer foolish?

Song Lian secretly felt happy for his niece before speaking up: “I will definitely get to the bottom of this matter.”

After giving Li Nuo another long look, he turned and left.

When only the two of them remained, Song Jiaren turned to Li Nuo and said softly, “Thank you for earlier.”

Li Nuo was happily enjoying a whole table of sumptuous dishes by himself. Waving his hand casually, he replied, “No need for formalities between us, Niangzi. We’re family, why stand on ceremony…”

Had he not stepped forward earlier, both of them would have lost face. Besides, she had saved his life before. Reciting two poems to save the situation was nothing – even if she asked him to pledge his life in return, he wouldn’t hesitate…